I remember / je me souviens
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For those limbic bursts of nostalgia, invented by Proust, miniaturized by Nicholson Baker, and freeze-dried by Joe Brainard in his I remember and by Georges Perec in his Je me souviens.

But there are no fractions, the world is an integer
Like us, and like us it can neither stand wholly apart nor disappear.
When one is young it seems like a very strange and safe place,
But now that I have changed it feels merely odd, cold
And full of interest.
          --John Ashbery, "A Wave"

Sometimes I sense that to put real confidence in my memory I have to get to the end of all rememberings. That seems to say that I forego remembering. And now that strikes me as an accurate description of what it is to have confidence in one's memory.
          --Stanley Cavell, The Claim of Reason


Wednesday, May 29, 2002
I remember a joke from 1964: "Did you know that Goldwater is still alive and living in Argentina?" I laughed knowingly when I heard it. When my father asked why it was funny I said "Of coursehe's living in Argentina," which I was confusing with Arizona. I think that's when I found out Argentina wasn't a state. (During the same period my father and I were biking down Riverside Drive at 95th street, to get to the Promenade, and we heard some kids chanting at every passing car, "We want Goldwater! We want Goldwater." So I told my father I was rooting for Goldwater too -- the chant got into my head. But he explained to me with some passion that Goldwater was an evil man, though today one doesn't think so anymore, and I was quickly brought round to LBJ.) I don's know when I got the Goldwater joke -- I think it was several years later when I heard about Marting Bormann, who I think wasliving in Argentina. And much later still, I heard from my uptown grandmother the story of how Mengele spared a cousin of hers -- a beautiful dark-haired girl who had just died of cancer when my grandmother told me the story. The SS was about to take her away, but when Mengele reviewed the group of experimental subjects he said of her "let the dark-haired one go." She was ambivalent about him henceforth, and guilty about her ambivalence.


posted by william 7:39 AM
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